MY WIFE THE WARRIOR

The day before my wife is to have a double mastectomy operation at Baylor All Saints in Fort Worth early tomorrow morning, she wants to ride a horse jumping with out anything covering her head to celebrate the strong women and men fighting Cancer. It just happens to be breast cancer awareness month.

She may not even know she is doing it, but she's determined to show how important it is to live every day and to be proud of the fight against cancer and not shy away from it. These woman with their bald heads and pale skin should not be looked at as sick,  but strong warrior princesses who have the  strength of women like Joan of Arc.

So the next time you see someone fighting this horrible disease, see their beautiful strength and not their sickness. Trust me, after meeting many of them during their daily fight, they are much tougher than you could ever imagine.

Thanks every one again for your continued support and know your hearts and strength will be with us tomorrow.

"Chemo No Mo"

Friend is a word...

that I don't throw around

Though it's used and abused, I still like the sound.

I save it for people who've done right by me

And I know I can count on if ever need be.

Some of my friends drive big limousines

Own ranches and banks and visit with queens.

And some of my friends are up to their neck

In overdue notes and can't write a check.

They're singers or ropers or writers of prose

And others, God bless them can't blow their own nose!

I guess bein' friends don't have nothin' to do

With talent or money or knowin' who's who.

It's a comf'terbul feelin' when you don't have to care

'Bout choosin' your words or bein' quite fair

"Cause friends'll just listen and let go on by

Those words you don't mean and not bat an eye.

It makes a friend happy to see your success.

They're proud of yer good side and forgive all the rest

And that ain't so easy, all of the time

Sometimes I go crazy and seem to go blind!

Yer friends just might have to take you on home

Or remind you sometime that you're not alone.

or ever so gently pull you back to the ground

When you think you can fly with no one around.

A hug or a shake, which ever seems right

Is the high point of givin', I'll tell ya tonight,

All worldly riches and tributes of men

Can't hold a candle to the worth of a friend.

-Baxter Black

"Chemo No Mo" was a sign the nurses put up at the cancer center last Monday celebrating Amanda, my strong beautiful wife finishing 16 rounds of Chemo. It was an unforgettable day in our life. This has been a six month journey so far and this is our first major milestone.

I put the poem above cause I don't know how to thank all the people that have been supporting us. From doctors and nurses to family and friends. Old rodeo buddys or friends from high school that have shown so much care. Amanda's old theater friends and friends from work, and people we have just met. Our horse clients who see us go through this experience every day and understand when we are pressured for time or if we are a little stressed out.

I can't express how much your little comments, texts, emails and cards mean to us. I can't tell you how many times we are a little down and your words lift us up. I don't want to ramble on about this, but the poem by Mr. Baxter Black couldn't say it better. Thank you.

Back to business. We had an opportunity to go to an event last Wednesday night called "Careity Rocks." This is the charity who helps cancer patients and the event was benefiting Cooks Children's Hospital. Sonny Burgess, a staple in the Texas country music scene has built a recording studio for the children there at the hospital and helps them write music and bring it to fruition where they record their own music. If you ever wanted to support a country singer and download his music, this guy's heart is the real deal.

So, check him out and this wonderful program that Careity is doing. We got to watch the kids sing and visit with some new and old friends. It was a special night for us and a reminder that what we are going through isn't even close to what others battle through. These kids really gave us a new strength and we were honored to be a part of it. Thank you Careity for all that you do!

So now we are through with the chemo, next step surgery! Amanda will be having her double mastectomy October 7th. I am so nervous. Amanda is excited to move forward. We have family and friends coming to help and Amanda's Mom- Grandma "Gogi" a  crew of one to help us through.

Thank you again all of you for your support and we will keep you updated.

Last day of chemo- September 15, 2014

At "Careity Rocks"

Amanda got to help teach a couple of kids at our last group lesson

THE MASK OF THE RED DEVIL

There was a small cowboy town in Texas in the late 1800's named "Hope Spring," and there was a rumor going around that the outlaw nicknamed "The Red Devil" was in the territory. In the meanwhile, this little town was already run by hooligans, thieves and opportunists. But the core of "Hope Springs" was a band of settlers who worked hard and were good church going folks, but they were scared to walk down the streets and now were really scared the Red Devil was near by. The settlers were growing tired of worrying and were getting ready to pack their wagons up and head further West.
On this one hot summer day, the local riff raf decided to wreak havoc on this little town. What were the settlers to do but pull up stakes and run.
Then out of nowhere, a man on a horse came blowing through "Hope Spring" guns a blazing. He wore a black hat and a red bandana over his face. He rode a big powerful steed. The settlers couldn't believe their luck, it wasn't bad enough with all the chaos, but now the Red Devil has come to town. All was lost.
Except what they didn't notice, was the Red Devil was roping and dragging all the bad guys out of town. One by one, he got rid of all of the men that caused this little town despair. When he was done, he rode right up to the settlers, didn't say a word, tipped his hat and reared his horse. Then turned and rode away into the sunset.

Okay, so back to reality. Amanda started her new regimen of chemo yesterday of Adriamycin and Cytoxan. The Adriamycin is nicknamed the Red Devil. We haven't been looking forward to it because everyone says how hard it can be on the patient.
A day later, Amanda is doing okay. Pretty nauseous, but still able to take care of the kids. We will just have to wait and see how she handles it. She has 3 more rounds of these, every two weeks and then she will be done with chemo if no problems arise. As best we know, it is around three weeks after that she would have surgery.

We did get some very exciting news last week. Amanda had her first mammogram and ultrasound since she was diagnosed. Nothing at all could be seen in her breast or lymph nodes! That was a big day for us. They won't know till they do the surgery if it is officially all gone, but these are all great signs.


We did a group riding lesson this last week and taught clients beginning western jumping. After the lesson, our client Candace asked Amanda if she wanted to ride her big pretty Arabian that had been with us for training. Amanda kept eyeballing the jump, so she went over it a few times. She loves to jump so this was pretty cool. Thank you Candace.

Amanda and I continue to meet these beautiful strong people at the cancer center that inspire us to be postitive and keep fighting. There are people that go through such horrible things in this world and we are blessed for every day and moment we have. Our prayers and thoughts go out to all of our new friends out there.

Cowboy Christmas

In the professional rodeo circuit, this week is called Cowboy Christmas because there are more big rodeos going on than any other time of year. So all good Cowboys and Cowgirls, even if they are not Rodeoing need to take the time to saddle up and ride on this day of Celebration. There isn't anything more traditional than going for a ride on the 4th of July. That being said, we thought it was time for our daughter Violet to go for her first ride. So Mommy and Violet saddled up and if only for a few minutes rode off into that fairy tale world of princesses and unicorns and magical forest. So glad that my wife and little girl get to experience a first ride together. Words can't express how proud I am of both of them.

Amanda has had two weeks in a row of not getting chemo. The first for low platelets and the second for low white blood cell counts. So the process is slow going.
But it is amazing how Amanda comes home from going to get her treatments with stories of people going through the same thing or worse every week that are so gracious to her. If any of you are reading this- Thank You for your inspiration as it brings my wife home stronger each and every time.

Happy 4th everyone. Hug your loved ones and enjoy the fireworks.

One step forward two steps back!

Training horses we always say one step forward, two steps back. You have to be patient because they figure out things on their own time. With horses I can relate to that. It makes perfect sense and I see the benefits daily. With my wife fighting cancer, my patience is a little harder to find. We have been extremely busy with the most business we have had since we moved back to Texas.

We currently have 8 horses in training and we just put on a horsemanship clinic. On top of that, we have to clean up our home we own in Grandview, Tx that we were leasing. It was completely destroyed and we are not quite sure how we are going to pull everything off getting it ready to sell. This has all coincided with week after week of Amanda not being able to get chemo due to an upper respiratory infection and low white blood cell count. She finally was able to get it this past Thursday. Moving forward, they are going to be more aggressive with the neupogen shots which bring up her white blood cell count.

At this week's check up we had a great step forward. 

This is where we are at with this disease Amanda is fighting. 

The chemo is working wonders. After 6 treatments, Amanda's Oncologist Dr. Young can no longer feel her tumor or anything in her lymph nodes at all. Dr. Young said she had goose bumps after feeling for them. Amanda is now scheduled to have her last day of chemo August 21st. This is assuming no more setbacks and is a month later than the original schedule. She has 5 more treatments of the carboplatin/taxol combo. After that she will have a mammogram and an ultrasound done. Then she will have 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan. After the chemotherapy is completed, she will have a double mastectomy, radiation, and then reconstruction. She will then have a full hysterectomy, since she is a BRCA1 gene carrier and is at high risk for ovarian cancer.

This is a long road and our hearts break every time we see other people going through this. It is a true test of wills for these strong, inspiring people. My heroes used to be Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali and Billy Etbauer( a world champion rodeo cowboy). These guys have nothing on the survivors and fighters of this horrible disease. Makes me feel silly when you think about your priorities in these ways.

During the clinic, Amanda had a little break from the kids and jumped on the horse I was riding. I kept teaching and when I looked over my shoulder she was riding like the wind. She was so stunning and didn't look like she had a care in the world. She is Amazing.

Just wanted to thank everyone for the support. There have been a few of you that we will never be able to repay your gracious heart.

Thank you

Sit tall in the saddle!

"Sit tall in the saddle, Hold your head up high
Keep your eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky
And live like you ain't afraid to die
Don't be scared just enjoy the ride."
-Chris LeDoux

I think of this song often. It has been a harder few weeks. Amanda hasn't been able to do chemo for a couple of weeks due to low white blood cell counts and low platelets. There are days she has been real down. Mentally and physically. She is strong and puts on a good face for the kids. She was able to do a session this last Thursday.
We both need to remind ourselves to live in the moment. Easy for me to say. Ryder is growing up so quick. He is turning into a little man right before our eyes. He started singing his new favorite song. Stand By Me. He seems to know things aren't quite right but he really lives in the moment. And little Violet seems to be faster crawling than Usain Bolt. She can do the fifty in like 3 flat. We have such gifts in our lives and I am scared with all that we are going through, we will miss out on some of it.

A local magazine, "North Texas Farm and Ranch"did an article on Amanda, the horses and our business. I am proud of it, but reading it was a real reality check. That my beautiful wife and family are going through this challenge. Don't get me wrong, they did a wonderful job writing it. Just somehow made all this more real.

I always tell people when they ride horses they need to keep their head up, look where they are going and breathe. So just like the Chris LeDoux song says, we are going to do our best to "Keep tall in the Saddle and hold our heads up High."

"The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears." -Arabian Proverb

This last week has been one of our tougher weeks so far. Amanda was quite nauseous from the carboplatin.  This last Thursday when we went in to do chemo, Amanda's white blood cell count was too low to do Chemo. This happens, but Amanda feels like she loses a week of fighting the cancer. If you know Amanda you know how tough this is for her. There is not much you can do, except try to exercise and eat really well. So needless to say I am learning more about preparing organic kale than I ever wanted to know. We also have all gotten severe allergies with the spring season which is concerning with Amanda's low white cells so we are keeping a close eye on it.

We have done a lot of studying over the years about the abilities horses have to heal people physically and mentally. I know for sure the horse has the ability to connect directly to your soul if you are willing to let him. Their movement and energy give you strength and serenity. So today we are making sure Amanda rides. The cold hard fact is when Amanda is riding it is the one place that  all she can focus on is the horse, and not worry about anything else. She has worked for many years on having this ability to connect with the horse and now they are giving back to her in spades.

So it was like 30 mile an hour winds today but Amanda was determined to ride. Her horse Snowflake is interesting, cause he really had a rough time with the human when we first got him. He was very agressive. He would try to chase you out of the stall when you would feed him and would lunge at you when you did groundwork. He also would let you pet him and as soon as you quit paying attention he would try to bite you for no reason. He just couldn't deal with any kind of affection. It was really sad. Needless to say, Amanda has always had a bond with him because she saw who he was and what he could become. Which is a very trustful horse who has really come through in the clutch for us. He isn't real athletic but the gifts he has given us through his try and heart have been more than a horse owner can ask for. Amanda has always liked to ride him bareback because she feels so close and connected to him. It was a little tough with the kids today but Amanda was able to disappear for a good fifteen minutes into hoof beat heaven and give herself to Snowflake's movement.

Next Chemo session is Thursday. So hopefully the nuepogen
shots work and her white blood cells are up. Will keep our fingers and hooves crossed.