Cowboys Don't Cry....B.S!

So all I knew about chemo was what I saw from binge watching Walter White on "Breaking Bad."

The oncologist wanted to start Amanda on chemo right away instead of doing surgeries first because of the aggressive nature of the cancer.
Oh my God, what does this mean? What do I know about this? She is going to get sick, nauseous and lose her hair. Lose her hair right? I realized I had all these ideas of what chemo was and was really scared for Amanda. In the meanwhile, Amanda was obsessed with starting chemo so she knew she was doing something to fight.

We had a few hoops to jump through to start. Number one was the Port. Yeah. a port. It is a surgical procedure where they stick this round port about the size of a quarter in the muscles of her chest just under the skin to take blood and most importantly put the chemo medicine in. I guess they do this so they don't have to find veins all the time. We did an introduction class at the chemo ward where you watch a video and a nurse tells you about all of the possible side effects. Got a schedule and all the nausea medicine prepared.

The first time you walk into a chemo ward your worst fears come true. There is a bunch of older, very sick looking people wrapped up in blankets. But after a few minutes there is a beauty unlike any beauty I've ever seen. These people smile at you and have a twinkle in their eyes. It's insane what horrible things people go through and they offer their hands and hearts. It's humanity in its purest form.

Amanda also had a Pet scan done that showed no other cancer other than in her breast and the two lymph nodes. Amanda had been so anxious and scared for weeks about finding out if it had spread. Once she got those results, she felt a weight had been lifted off of her and she had a new found determination and confidence about beating this.

She also had to take a genetics test to see if she had the breast cancer gene. Yes, the same thing Angelina Jolie has. It came back positive. Which means Amanda had up to an 80% risk of developing breast cancer at some point in her life.
This also means she will have to get a double mastectomy with breast reconstruction. She will also have to get her ovaries removed as she has a 55% risk of getting ovarian cancer. We are so blessed to have just had our two children.

I use to hear the saying "Cowboys don't cry." I believe it is ok to cry once in a while, as long as you are fighting back while you are doing it.

I have been so proud of Amanda hitting this face forward. She is Determined like never before.